


the birds are singing at night

by frillshark



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, go easy on me lads this is the first fic ive published in a long time, i have no idea if this is any good, long conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-07 23:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20825960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frillshark/pseuds/frillshark
Summary: After the events of the St. John's dairy, Doug and Lee have a talk.





	the birds are singing at night

**Author's Note:**

> no one:
> 
> literally no one:
> 
> me: yeah you know what would be a cool pairing to bring back in 2019

It had taken the better part of the already fading night to finish unloading the car. Although at first they’d thought they were about to be caught any minute, the forest was uncharacteristically serene. On the way back to the motel, the storm finally blew their direction, leaving every one of them soaked, miserable, and completely silent.

Doug hung in the back of the group, watching as Lilly pushed open the gate. Nobody said anything to each other as they trudged into the parking lot, but the tension was enough to make his skin crawl. He would have almost preferred an argument break out than this eeriness.

He set down the soggy box under the cover of the RV and, out of the corner of his eye, caught a glimpse of Ben standing awkwardly by the fence. Unlike the rest of the group, he didn’t have that tense, guarded vibe at all. He just seemed lost.

“Hey, Ben,” Doug flinched at his own voice, even a whisper seeming too loud. It only took a few steps to reach the edge of the motel. “Since you just got here today, you can take my room for tonight. We can figure out somewhere more permanent for you to stay in the morning.” He pointed at one of the rooms on the second floor.

Ben blinked at him for a moment. “Are- Are you sure? What about you?”

“I’m not that tired,” that was a lie and both of them knew it, but even if he did lay down it wasn’t like he’d be able to fall asleep anytime soon. “I’ll take watch tonight. Give the others a chance to rest.”

For a moment, Ben shuffled in place before saying “... Uh, okay. Thanks, Doug,” and then, after a little hesitation, “you know, for sticking with me today.”

Maybe the words wouldn’t have meant as much to someone else, but to know Ben felt just a little bit better made everything worth it.

“No problem,” Doug patted him on the shoulder. Ben managed a half-smile before turning to leave and slinking around the corner of the motel.

It was only then that he realized everyone else had already left the parking lot. They’d all, presumably, gone back to their own rooms, trying to process the fresh new hell that had happened today. Eventually, they would tire of torturing themselves with guilt, sadness, and anger, and finally shut their eyes for the night. And then they would wake up and do it again.

This was all too much. He needed to sit down.

The last of the storm had lessened to a light drizzle, but it wasn’t like that made him want to stay out in it much longer. The stairs clattered under his shoes as he made the climb up to the balcony of the motel. Taking a seat under the awning, he shivered a bit on the cold wood.

Instead of letting the mess of today’s events clutter his mind, Doug tried to think about what he would do tomorrow morning instead. Improving the alarm system was a valid option—now that he knew for sure it worked, perhaps he could try extending its range, or make it a little more threatening to potential intruders. Or maybe he could help Kenny with the RV, although he wasn’t too keen on the idea of using it to up and bolt. It _ would _ feel good to do something useful for once. But he would probably have to end up avoiding Lilly if he went down that route, because she hated Kenny’s plan and would likely be in a terrible mood next morning, and oh god he felt awful about what had happened to her today—

Great. He was right back where he started.

“You look a little cold.”

Doug nearly jumped a foot off the ground. He turned to find Lee standing there, hands fastened around his coat. There was an amused smile on his face, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Most of all, he looked tired.

“It’s pretty toasty out here, actually,” Doug tried for a more lighthearted tone and was rewarded by a short chuckle from Lee. He took a couple steps closer until he was only a foot or two away.

“Toasty or not, I think you might appreciate this,” Lee shrugged off his jacket before draping it around Doug’s shoulders. Despite how dirty and bloodstained it was, the gesture alone was enough to make his heart splutter. “You mind if I sit down?”

“Uh- Of course you can,” Doug stammered a bit, as if he’d only been with Lee for a day instead of almost a month. “And, um, thank you for letting me borrow your jacket.”

Lee sat down next to him. “Oh, it’s not a big deal,” he said. Perhaps it was Doug’s imagination, but he thought Lee looked just a little less weary than he had before. “Are you holding up alright out here? Maybe you should take a break, you’ve been on watch all day.”

Doug hesitated. The last thing he wanted was to burden Lee with his own worries when he couldn’t even begin to imagine what the rest of them had gone through on that farm. “Don’t worry about me. You guys all deserve to rest after everything that happened today,” he could tell Lee was on the verge of protest, so he quickly changed the subject with “Hey, by the way, how’s Clementine doing? Is she alright?” Remembering her outcry against stealing from the car back in the forest clearing, he felt a fresh stab of guilt. He really hoped that she was okay, if nothing else.

For a moment, Lee looked like he was about to bring up his concerns for Doug again. Eventually, though, he just sighed and said “She’s... A little shaken up. She saw some awful things back on that farm, and...” he trailed off, that troubled look in his eyes coming back full force. “We never should have trusted the St. John’s. What were we thinking, taking the word of two strangers that came out of the woods?”

“I guess we were pretty desperate,” Doug attempted to comfort him, although the words came out halfhearted. There was nothing he could say that would take the guilt away from either of them.

Lee was quiet for a second. “I told her I wanted to step out for a moment, just to get some fresh air. Maybe try to clear my head,” his voice softened as he glanced over. “I didn’t know you were out here.”

“Well, I didn’t really think I’d be able to sleep tonight, so I wanted to at least make myself useful,” Doug confessed as he tugged at the corner of Lee’s jacket. He was tired, sure, but it wasn’t like he fancied another night of staring at the ceiling and thinking about dessert recipes to keep the anxieties of living in an apocalypse at bay. “But it’s just... Too quiet out here. Like, there was a defined _ space _ where Mark and Larry used to be, and now it’s gone.”

There was that concerned look again. “Yeah. I’m getting that feeling too,” Lee agreed, and the two of them stared at each other for a while before he finally asked with a hint of hesitation “Do you want to talk about something else?”

“Huh?”

“A lot happened today. I’m not saying that bottling up our feelings is the way to go, but maybe we should... Try to relax, if only a little. It might be good for us.” Lee explained gently. “You look just as tired of thinking about all this as I am.” His words were calm and rational, but the exhausted shadows on his face gave away the worry he was trying to hide.

It was at times like this that Doug realized how genuinely lucky he was to have Lee. Despite every hardship and horrible thing that had happened to them, it would have been so much worse if he hadn’t been there. Sure, Lilly was respectable and Katjaa was nice and Mark had been a good friend (even thinking about him right now made his chest clinch), but none of the other group members could come close to the degree of caring Lee had shown him. Even if it was just a simple “are you holding up alright?” at the end of a long day, his words would always lift his spirits.

And then there were those times when it had just been the two of them, perhaps out on a morning patrol or dropping by to talk as the sun went down. It was the closest he felt to normal anymore—watching the leaves crinkle and collect in piles under the trees, working on a project together, lying side by side as Doug went on and on about some convoluted fact that Lee would go on to tease him for. Whenever he was with him, he truly felt alive.

Maybe he could even say he loved him.

So he nodded slowly and said “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

Lee thought about it for a moment. “Before... Everything, what did you use to do? Like, as a job?”

It wasn’t the kind of question Doug had expected, although it wasn’t like he’d known what to expect in the first place. “I thought you already knew that, though.”

“You’ve brought it up once or twice. I guess I’m just curious,” Lee shrugged, a bit of a teasing look coming over him. “What can I say? You’re an interesting guy, Doug.”

Even the simple act of being called “interesting” put a smile on his face. “I did a lot of independent IT work. It’s not like I made a lot, but it was something I was good at,” he hesitated before adding “for a couple years I took on a lot of different part-time jobs. Some of them were tech related—I worked at RadioShack for a little while—but I also sold concessions at this skating rink? Yeah, that was... Kind of a weird time.” He’d nearly forgotten about that whole stint.

Lee let out a laugh—an honest to god laugh. “I went skating once, with my brother. You don’t even wanna know how it went,” he looked thoughtful for a minute, trying to conjure up some equally weird job experience. “Okay- Okay, so in college, I used to work at this 24-hour buffet place. I think I was there for maybe two months before I quit. You’d never believe the kind of crazy shit that happened there.”

“Dude, no way,” Doug just barely managed to stop himself from snickering. “Like, I can’t even imagine that.” The thought of Lee standing tiredly behind the counter of a run-down restaurant and having to deal with demanding customers complaining about vegetarian options or something was easily the funniest thing he’d heard all week. All month, even.

“I wish I were making this up,” Lee was trying to hide his grin. “God, it was awful.”

“Yeah. Being a professor sounds like a way calmer experience than... Whatever that was. Unless you had some wild stories about your students, or something?” He could vividly remember, as soon as they’d realized this relationship between them was getting on the serious side, Lee telling him everything—about his past, arrest and all. It was jarring, to say the least, but far from the craziest thing he’d heard over the past few months. In the end, they’d agreed to keep quiet about it for now, and Doug still stuck by his original judgement: Lee was a really great guy.

Shaking his head, Lee said “No, I don’t think I do,” but there was a saddened look on his face. He crossed his arms, something he did compulsively whenever he got stressed. Doug began to regret bringing it up—while his own memories brought him comfort in this cold new world, Lee’s memories seemed to only bring him down further.

There was a pause in their conversation as they both tried to think of a way to change the subject. Eventually, Doug slowly said “... Hey, you know what I think is really crazy?”

“Hm,” Lee pretended to think about it. “Let me guess: Is it something about the _ incredibly _ sophisticated and rich history of the computer mouse?”

“No! And for the record, you were interested. Technology is a marvel,” Doug shot back.

“Sure, sure I did,” That teasing look had returned to Lee’s face. “I’m just messing with you, Doug. What were you gonna say?”

Doug made a show of clearing his throat. “Ok, so, I used to collect rocks and minerals and stuff like that. I would go to this rock store sometimes and it always blew my mind how they could just... Make things like bismuth and quartz in a lab. I can’t even imagine what that would look like,” he gestured as he spoke, eyes wide with a glimmer of wonder. “Can you?”

Lee took it in for a moment. “You know, I don’t think I can.”

As he went on about the fascinating subject of synthetic gemstones (which slowly morphed into a completely different topic, and then another after that) they began to lose track of time. Eventually they stopped talking altogether and simply sat in comfortable silence, listening to the chirping and rustling of the forest. Doug wasn’t entirely sure when, but at some point he’d started leaning back into Lee’s chest, and in turn Lee had rested one arm around Doug’s shoulders. He hadn’t felt this warm in a long time.

For the past three weeks and four days they’d been together, their relationship had been just a little tentative. Maybe it was the inherent awkwardness of trying to make something work during an apocalypse, maybe it was the fear of the rest of the group shunning them, maybe they were just trying to “take it slow.” But for any doubts that Doug happened to have, they were quelled by moments like this. What he had with Lee... It felt good. It felt _ right_.

He was almost half asleep when Lee finally tapped him on the hand. “... Hey, uh... I think I should probably go check on Clementine.” His voice was gentle, but slightly raspy after not having spoken for so long.

Even with the heads-up, Doug still felt a little startled. “Oh. Uh, okay. That’s probably a good idea.” As Lee got up from behind him to stretch, he tried to pretend that the sudden absence of warmth didn’t make him shiver.

“And- You can have your jacket back, Lee. Thanks again for letting me use it,” blatantly ignoring the chill, Doug shrugged off Lee’s jacket as he stood back up. Lee reluctantly took it back.

“Are you sure you’re fine out here, Doug? Surely you deserve some sleep at this point,” Lee hesitantly asked once more, leaning against the railing instead of moving to leave.

Even Doug had to admit at this point that he definitely needed a break—he’d practically been using Lee’s shoulder as a pillow five minutes ago—but he tried one last meek line of protest. “I, uh... I’m letting Ben use my room tonight, actually.”

For a moment, Lee looked puzzled. “Really? Couldn’t you have just, uh... I don’t know, told him to sleep where he wanted? It’s not like we’ve got a shortage of beds here or anything.” He gestured vaguely behind him.

“I mean, it’s kind of dusty and gross in some of them. I guess I just thought he’d feel a little more welcome if he stayed somewhere more- more lived-in, or something.” Doug said softly. In his opinion, it was the least he could have done to try and help the kid a little.

Lee eventually just shrugged and said “Alright. I get it,” he paused for another moment before continuing with “If that’s the only problem, you could always stay in our room for tonight. I mean, I’d have to ask Clementine, but... It’ll be fine. She likes you.”

“Oh!” was all Doug was able to say for the first five seconds after Lee had spoken. He was really bad at taking this kind of stuff with confidence. “I mean, uh, sure! As long as she’s okay with it.”

As if he could sense the lingering hints of hesitation, Lee put a comforting hand on Doug’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, Doug,” and then, in a quieter tone, “And things will be fine out here, too. If anyone was gonna raid us today or whatever, they would have done it earlier when everyone was out.”

He had a point. Finally giving in, Doug slowly said “Alright. But just for a little while.”

Chuckling, Lee led him to his door at the end of the motel’s balcony. “Whatever you say, buddy.”


End file.
